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    May 07

    Whisper.

    very abstract...or not. you decide.

    An octave of sound
    And a climax never beginning
    Simply calling out
    For the end of purity, or the impression of

    Cutting corners in the circle of light
    Sensing a presence; Blinding
    Learning to dance, hauntingly beautiful
    To the music of your death

    Attempting to grasp unattainable words
    Inuendos touched upon, then discarded
    Shamefully
    Or was it all just a dream...

    Once the curtain has droppped
    Move to discover the self-portrait
    Never painted, only sung about
    The songs of old, they give you life

    Awaken from the mere dream
    And arise from a night of movement
    Of dancing and rituals aroused
    By a mere whisper...

    October 03

    Crimson Dawn.

    I look into the night sky
    And see that it is red
    A reflection of the blood-stained ground
    Which lies soaking with the dead

    Yet the vision is so customary
    I’ve seen it all before
    Being surrounded by the plague of death
    Doesn’t affect me anymore

    At first I cried bitter tears
    And asked the silence “why?”
    But gradually I accepted my fate
    And now I wait to die

    Only then will all the violence
    The cruelty and malice cease
    Only then will I live freely
    And be able to dream in peace

    For neither consciousness nor deep sleep
    Can provide a safe escape
    From the confines of toxic hatred
    That man managed to create

    Now an imprint on the future
    An everlasting stain
    Never to be wiped away
    Not even by cleansing rain

    The teardrops from the heavens
    Now drop steadily to the ground
    While dissolving the bloody blankets
    In which they were initially found

    So now the sky dawns clear
    Opening up my empty eyes
    To the stars that dance before them
    Like flashing fireflies

    And for a moment I am lost
    In the memories of yesterdays
    That had long since evaporated
    Into a dark and blurry haze

    But whatever dreams were playing
    In the recesses of my head
    Are rapidly dissipated
    By the screams of the almost-dead

    Their cries echo dying animals
    Who know they have been defeated
    And wish for some final sympathy
    For how they have been treated

    I wander through their bodies
    Where hungry mouths hang open wide
    I block out all their shrieking
    As hands clutch at my side

    Beckoning to no avail
    With frantically darting eyes
    That freeze suddenly in mid-blink
    Focused towards the skies

    No more noise or desperate clinging
    No more pity for their pain
    The clock of life’s stopped ticking
    And won’t ever start again

    The silence of the still earth
    Is mirrored in the sky
    Where the candles lighting the fireflies
    Also chose to die

    And now the sky’s a blank void
    In a hollow world of waste
    Where the rotting air I breathe
    Is acrid to the taste

    And I wonder why I live on
    In this world devoid of light
    Where hope was drowned by madness
    In the shadows of the night

    I remember hearing Hell described
    And being told to beware
    But I do not fear it anymore
    For I’m already there

    -Jeevy
    Sounds Of Memory
    April 29

    Almost L-Over

    I'm the sad story collector
    Luring into some (un)known shade of nostalgia
    Strolling inside a chaos that was already there.

    &...

    You're the chaser of disaster
    Casting devastating catastrophes
    Into a soul that was already broken.

    together...

    We're such tragic lovers,
    Glooming out the night with nurturing words
    that never stood a chance in the middle of this silence.

    & all I have now is rehearsed poetry and meaningless verses
    Etched into my skin
    & the memory of the lips that tasted like heartbreak.
    But I thought there would be some landing point in the falling...

    & all I remember now are the empty promises and stolen clichés
    Imprinted in my brain
    & the image of the irises that were sadder than a teardrop.
    But I thought there would be a bit of fresh air in the drowning...

    I need someone with a little fire in her veins
    that is not intent to burn me.
    I need someone who doesn't leave me seeking for amnesia
    In a battlefield of feelings.

    You cast your tragic ending
    Long before the start,
    I died close to the beginning
    of what we could have been
    Once inside the finish line.

    Now your sadness cling to me like a second skin
    & your lies run through my bloodstream
    I'm bleeding pain in the form of a novel,
    & I'm beating art in the shape of your beam.

    I'm the junkie of your cocaine words
    and the Bastard of your Prozac fingers.
    But you're as addictive as you're numbing
    Let me sink into oblivion because it hurts me believing
    there would (not) be some kind of beauty in the breakdown...
    March 20

    Raining Tears.

    They cried because he couldn’t.
    He wouldn’t.
    Why would he?
    She was dead.
    So what?
    She didn’t mean anything.
    Not then, not now, not ever.
    So why would he cry?
    He wouldn’t
    because she wasn’t worth it.

    Surveying the gloomy funeral scene, he noticed storm clouds gathering, contributing to the already depressing mood. The morbidly beautiful scent of death lingered in the still, heavy air, mixed with the salty scent of tears, both shed and unshed. Around him, men and women clad in black stood and paid their respects to the now deceased woman.

    Her sudden departure had left a searing hole in all of their hearts, even his, though he’d never admit to anyone, especially himself. He couldn’t bring himself to admit such a weakness, such a flaw. So what if she had been his only source of light? He didn’t need her. He didn’t need anyone, especially her. What made her so damned special anyways?

    During his silent brooding, the cemetery slowly emptied as people made their way home, some still crying and all of their souls burdened with the loss of a great friend. It was late in the afternoon when he was the only one left. The skies overhead were an ominous gray, heavy with unshed tears.

    Walking towards her grave, he wordlessly read what was inscribed on the slab of pavement. Throughout the entirety of the funeral, not one tear had dared escaped from his eyes. Even now, when no one was around, he still would not cry. She wasn’t worth his tears, at least, not in his eyes.

    He glared at her tomb, as if somehow that would drag her soul back into the living world, where he believed she belonged. She had such charisma in life; such a charming personality that no one could resist. Not even death, he mused silently, his aching heart screaming in pain and torturing his hazy mind. Now that she was dead, it seemed like her ray of light was clouded by a blanket of unbreakable darkness. Stuck in the black abyss of death, she would remain there for all eternity, having only herself as company. Yet, he still felt no sorrow for her, at least not enough sorrow to actually cry. It was her own damned fault she was dead in the first place. Why did he have to pay for her mistakes?

    Gently tracing the edges of her tombstone, memories of her flashed through his mind, stabbing away at his nonexistent heart. He looked up at the gray sky, wondering why it hurt so much, especially when she meant nothing to him. What had he done to deserve this? Letting out a loud, bitter, sarcastic laugh, he realized the answer to his own stupid question. What hadn’t he done to deserve this?

    “Even in death, you still haunt me,” he spoke, his voice but a faint whisper in the wind, as if he feared that speaking any louder would cause his very existence to crumble and shatter. As he continued standing there, lamenting her death, he noticed that little droplets of rain had begun falling. Directing his gaze towards the sky, he silently wondered. Was it her? Was she up there right now, crying?

    Shaking his head, he mentally berated himself for even thinking such foolish thoughts. Never in all his years of knowing her had he witnessed her shed even one tear. She hadn’t cried in life, why would she cry in death? She wouldn’t, and neither would he.

    The rain kept coming, starting as a light drizzle at first, softly caressing his soul before turning into a murderous downfall of water, trying to desperately drown his entire being. Standing there, soaking wet, he couldn’t help but wonder, that if she wasn’t crying, then who was? The answer dawned on him as he continued to stand there, embracing the falling teardrops. How could he have been so blind? Then again, according to her, he always was a bit of a blind fool, unable to see what was right in front of him.

    He let out a lifeless smile, so morose that it shouldn’t have been considered a smile. No one up there was crying. Instead, the rain was made up of unshed tears, his unshed tears. He could never really cry…

    They cried because he couldn’t.
    He wouldn’t.
    Why would he?
    He didn’t cry.
    Not for her
    or anyone.
    So why would he cry?
    He wouldn’t.

    He made it rain instead
    because she was worth it…
    March 15

    Pen Vs Pencil.

    Friday afternoon at Joseph Middle School had arrived, and finally, the last classroom turned out its lights and the door was shut, leaving behind a dark, empty Science room. Or, empty, so it seemed…

    “What are you looking at?!” spat a deep, rich voice from one of the desks.

    One of the students, Barbara, had neglected her two writing utensils. A pen and a pencil, lying side by side, though not peacefully.

    “Shut up! Stupid ballpoint pen! I am so completely better than you!” Pencil shot back at the black figure next to it.

    “What makes you say that? I am used just as much as you are!” the ballpoint pen answered, “If not more!!” he added nastily.

    “Yeah right! Think of the school kids that come here. Most of them use me!! Besides, some teachers, such as Math ones, don’t allow pens to be used. But we, on the other hand, are never banned. We are always welcome! Plus, people like us because their mistakes can be erased!” Pencil made a terrific point.

    “So what?! People like us because our writing doesn’t fade over time. And we don’t have to constantly be sharpened.”

    “Whatever! People chew on you pens - yuck!! But we pencils aren’t as likely to be chewed on. We stay clean and dry for the most part, thank you very much!”

    “Excellent point,” ballpoint pen considered, “on my behalf, though! People chew on pens because they love us. Nobody really loves a pencil. But us, pens…people can become quite attached to us. And who could blame them?! We don’t shrink like you stupid pencils—we stay the same size all of our lives!”

    Pencil  frowned, annoyed. He couldn’t take it any longer. He rolled over, and pushed ballpoint pen until his enemy tumbled off the edge and landed with a tiny, barely audible sound onto the floor below.

    “Take that, ballpoint pen!” he hollered, remarkably satisfied with his unplanned action.

    “I’m sorry!” a squeak came, “I was wrong! You are better…oh…it’s freezing down here!”

    “You’re really, positively sorry?”

    “Yeah, absolutely.”

    “Okay, then.” Pencil rolled over himself, taking the leap down to the dusty floor in order to join the pen in the coldness.


    “Now that you’re down here…” ballpoint pen drawled slyly, “I’m not sorry!!”


    “What?!” Pencil exclaimed, “Why, I ought a…”


    -----------------------------

    Next time, another story!
    Until then! Rock On! :)
    February 25

    Kiddo You.

    Kid you not, there’s a kid in you.

    Bottled in a... bottle is
    a little whimsy in a chocolate wrapper;
    a flavor lingers
    with sticky fingers


    Boxed up in a... box are
    miniature bicycles, pebbles, stamps:
    stamps of times
    reciting tongue-twisting rhymes


    Albumed in a... album is
    a little boy with gleaming eyes,
    lesser teeth and more smiles
    hiding a headful of guiles


    Chatted about in a... chat are
    days of the wild and tender
    no broken hearts, no social pressures
    Much more fun and much less material pleasures.

    February 11

    The Life & Times.

    You wake up and its Monday morning. You don’t have a routine anymore; your routine has you. Your floor pushes you up twenty times, it cradles you through thirty sit-ups. Then the kitchen has its turn. Your cereal eats you for breakfast; your coffee drinks you down. Your car drives you to work at the usual time.

    At about 8:30 while you’re sitting in your five-by-five cubicle, the coffee wakes you up, and the computer initializes you with your preprogrammed start-up sequence. The thirteen-inch SVGA monitor sees its words reflected in your eyes, between the intermittent flapping of your otherwise useless eyelids.

    Your chair sits you down as it wheels you around your five-by-five cubicle, from one document which grabs your hand, willing itself to be moved across the cubicle, to another.

    Your computer initializes another of your preprogrammed subroutines, and the halls of your “hive-complex” office building escort you and the other drones to the feeding area. Your lunch utilizes your otherwise useless appendages to deliver itself to your stomach where it will process itself and convert itself into more excess fat. Your stale ham sandwich with a side of potato chips eat you, and your half pint carton of milk drinks you down for good measure.

    The clock on the wall instructs you to return to your five-by-five cubicle before you’re late. You obey it as always. The wall-clock’s word is law.

    Your chair returns you to the sitting position and leads you back to the computer so that it can stare at you for a few more hours until the time comes for your car to drive you back to the pre-fabricated structure that allows you to dwell within.
    The welcome mat wipes your feet, then the doorknob turns your hand and the door opens to let you inside. The answering machine initiates your pre-programmed subroutine and its play button presses your right index finger. The answering machine’s word is law also, under the penalty of death, the death of isolation from the outside world that owns you.
    The couch sits you down in front of the television set. The blank screen stares into your eyes until the remote grabs your hand and initializes a set of muscle and tendon movements to allow an its parent appliance to be activated.

    The football game watches itself reflected in your eyes for five point eight seven seconds, then the hockey game watches itself reflected in your eyes for six point three two seconds, then a cheesy rip-off of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” watches itself reflected in your eyes for two point five eight seconds, finally a test pattern watches itself reflected in your eyes for one hour thirty-two minutes and forty-one point zero nine seconds.

    The bestselling novel on your nearby coffee table picks up your hand and reads you until the sun finishes setting on the day to which you belonged.

    Your worn-out slippers, which bought you nearly a year ago, walk you back to the kitchen. The cabinets pull on your arms to open themselves, and the private stash of junk food which purchased you at the county-market one week ago, grabs your left hand. This sweet tasting substance delivers itself to your otherwise useless mouth, chews you, swallows you and digests you. A glass of water drinks you then uses you to rinse it out to rid itself of your foul taste.

    Your clothes undress you for the night’s slumber. The alarm clock, which has owned you since grade school, sets you to awake in time for your car to drive you to work in the morning. The bed to which you belong lifts you onto a designer mattress guaranteed to provide the sleeper with an extra sense of comfort, which bought you on sale about two months ago.
    You no longer live your life; your life lives you. You spend all your time to build a life, which defines you as a person, until your life begins to spend your time defining you.

    You wake up and you’re dead.

    February 09

    The Intimate Truths Of Love & Sex.

    This is a free form poem
    Since I can't really get
    The words to rhyme.
    Anyway this poem is about
    The intimate truths of love and
    Sex.
    Did you see that writing trick?
    Sex got it's own line.
    That's because it grabs
    Attention.
    Like billboards screaming out at the world.
    So anyway.
    This poem is supposed to convey
    The intimate truths of love and
    Sex.
    I did it again. Must stop that.
    It's what I know
    And all I learned in my life, short however it may be.
    So for your benefit,
    I'm telling you all I know about
    These intimate truths that will prove invaluable to you in your future life.
    Right. Where to begin?
    It's never easy to begin
    Poetry
    Especially one about
    Such intimate details.
    This could potentially be embarrassing
    If I don't pull it off right.
    Why am I even doing this?
    Do you think that I'd write this just for you?
    Yeah. Right.
    The whole reason
    I write this is for:
    Can you guess?
    Money.
    A poem entitled
    The Intimate Truths of Love and Sex
    Would definitely
    Garner a lot of interest.
    Even from the illiterate nuts
    Who never read my poetry anyway because they think it's boring.
    Philistines, the lot of them.
    Anyway, now to begin talking about
    The intimate truths about love and-
    dammit, just ran out of paper.

    I'm sorry I havent been so regular here. I was busy with too many things in life. I promise I will be regular from now on!
    Peace & Love
    -Jeevy :)

    October 15

    Dreamer

    A dreamer is like a leaf in the breeze,
    Seeking a path.
    Wondering like a star in the sky.
    For them nothing is too great a task as long as there is hope.
    The most futile battle can be won with the help of a fictional idea,
    A made up dream.
    The journey is never too long,
    Nor the path too rough.
    They are guided on the wings of belief,
    To an unknown destination.
    The starlit sky is like a whole new world,
    Another time and place to know.
    The tears of a dreamer fall like silent raindrops,
    Influenced by their own mind.
    A dreamer may see the most beautiful things,
    And yet never reach them.
    A dreamer can run away from the world and live in another reality.
    They can hide from truth.
    But hopes fade.
    And dreams fall.
    For a dream is a dream and only exist in ones heart,
    Ones soul.

    -Jeevy
    [ Infinite Dreams ]